i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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