K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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