FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
