We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Vodka?
Forever.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
