This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
