I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
