Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
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