Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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