C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize