He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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