you turned your livingroom into a bong?
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
