She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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