oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
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