On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
