So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
pop tarts are not kleenex
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
