Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
