Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
