This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Randomize
