there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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