Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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