I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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