$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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