there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Randomize
