During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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