roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
