Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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