So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
