just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
