if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
