Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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