It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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