He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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