Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
