Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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