Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize