And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
