Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I could have mohawked her pubes.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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