Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
