just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
