so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
the evidence from last night is not good...
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.