I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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