And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD