forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
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