All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
