Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
