Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
