We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
