You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
why do cheetos always look like penises
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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