This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
