not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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