I am puke
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
