who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize