We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
