i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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