6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
