guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
