I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
