week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
