I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
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you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
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He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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