theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
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i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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