Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
