wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Your cock deserves a montage
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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