Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
