Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
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