He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
