How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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