All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
