Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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